It's going to be a cold rainy yuchy evening. Maybe the best thing to do 
is just put on your fez and slippers, hop on the sofa, and follow
this line-up:

1. First, check out the photo on page 1 of the San Jose Merc; George
   Bush doing his Jimmy Swaggert impersonation.

2. Watch the tape of the movie that you didn't watch last night.

3. Invite all your campy friends over, gather up all your unused
   coathangers, and watch "Mommie Dearest" on channel 44 @ 8 pm.

4. Then quickly switch channels to channel 9 and watch Sidney Poitier
   and Shelley Winters in "A Patch of Blue". Shelley Winters plays
   mommie dearest to a blind girl, who in 1965, can't see that
   Sidney is black and that anything is wrong with him befriending
   her. It is a heartwarming tale and Shelley Winters is meaner than
   Joan Crawford could ever be. Sidney Poitier is great, as always.
   The movie starts at 10:30.